The Field Marshal

You Will Never Walk Alone That's the motto of my favourite football club - Liverpool. Entitled this post with their motto cos' I, as well as Mydaemon, have been hooked on the game Fifa Manager 2006. Being a football junkie, I have always bought the latest version of EA Sports' football management game whenever they are launched. The same goes for this year. Perhaps my addiction to this game comes from the fact that I don't play football in real life, something which I do regret a little, and also that Liverpool can win the English Premier League, something which they have not done in the real world since 1990, under my armchair managerial brilliance. Apart from the countless hours of gaming, I have also been busy with a much more important issue, my upcoming wedding. Although there's still around 6 months plus to go, I realised that holding a church wedding entails quite a significant amount of planning. Firstly, we had to confirm if we can 'book' the priest, the church and the hall on our chosen 'auspicious' date. Then there's the invitations, preparation of traditional gifts, wedding photography, catering and the list goes on. But I am more than happy to do all these lah. It's worth it. Mydaemon has also be the best fiance around, helping me whenever the 'fieldmarshal' in me decides to AWOL the battleground. Things are moving along fine. I am preparing to call up some offers which my friends have generously volunteered some time back. I remember a particular friend of mine saying that she wouldn't mind being the MC for me wedding. She was somewhat glad to hear later that I am not having a banquet, but I am sure a church wedding will still require someone of her talent. You know who you are. So don't try to hide by stop reading my blog, cos' I know where to find you. hahaha..... Jokes aside. Over the last few weeks, I realised that having a Chinese wedding involves a lot of customs and traditions for both the groom's and bride's families. My family is totally clueless to such practices since we are not particularly traditional in that sense. Being a kantang that I am, lost is a good word to describe the way I felt. What to do? Log on to the net lah! That's my last hope of learning about the obsure, and sometimes interesting, rituals that we Chinese go through during weddings. It's bizarre, but most of the websites that provide advice on traditional Chinese wedding are based in US. Yes, US, not China, Hong Kong or Singapore. It made me realised that despite decades of residing in the land of the free, our Chinese brethen there are as traditional as their forefathers who first set foot there. Bizarre!!! Just have to repeat that word. Fact is, I don't care if the information is residing in a US website, or an African one. The important thing is that they contain the information which I need to ensure a smooth and happy wedding. For those we are still single, and still harbouring hopes of having a western-style wedding, here's some advice from your very own Fieldmarshal. First, if you are born between 1970 to 1985, my advice is that you give up that dream of a simple no-frills western wedding. There's no such thing as a simple wedding in the vocabluary for parents of those born in this period of time. Yes, you, you, and you in that corner over there. If you still insist on hanging on to that dream, then get prepared to be cut out from your parents fortune. Secondly, traditions and customs are very important. Lest the severity of this statement is not evident, think of spending the rest of your life thinking what you would have had if you didn't refuse to haul a skewered roasted pig to your wife's, I mean potential wife, parents. Heard that the Cantonese requires a pair of jeans be placed under the roasted meat. Wonder if there's a requirement that the jeans must be Levi's. Would Giodarno do? Thirdly, simple weddings are potentially possible sometime in 2030-2040, when we become parents to children who are preparing to get married then. I am sure most would have gotten the drift by now. Having shared some interesting insights to the world of Chinese weddings, I will now impart my secret manual. Just like those kung fu manuals, Master Fieldmarshal guarantees that the manual will impart to all fellow future 'bridegroom pugilists' the necessary skills to win the hearts of the in-laws. Like all good and responsible kung fu masters, I had certain rules for those wishing to have a peek at the manual. Firstly, the bridegroom must love his future wife with all his heart. Failure to do this will lead to death by bleeding through the seven channels (those who reads Chinese novels would understand what I mean). Secondly, he must be willing to exorcise all evil thoughts, thoughts which include simple western weddings. Thirdly, he must take everything seriously. Don't laugh if the manual tells you to string together 100 needles with a red string. If it has to be done, DO IT. Darn, I am having a ball of a time taking jibes at this. But frankly, customs are an important part of the Chinese society. So, the manual, or in its modern day version, website, I am sharing, is really useful for all couples who are intending to get hitched. However, I have to warn that I cannot vouch for the accuracy of the information. So, do read and follow the advice at your own discretion. And here's my secret manual... ... China Bridal.com. Have fun reading it!!!