The Field Marshal

The Story of 2 Safety Pins and a Man's Modesty Safety pins. Little contraptions made of twisted metal with a sharp end. Use in tailoring, dressing of wounds, stitching torn clothings, and protecting men's modesty. Where did that come from? Since when did safety pins played such a noble role in the brief history of humankind? Well, that noble role was discovered by your very own Fieldmarshal today. Yup, my modesty was capably protected by 2 humble safety pins. While I have always attested to the usefulness of such a simple contraption, I have never depended on it, as I had so much today, to safeguard my modesty. If you know by now, these little buggers - safety pins - have come to our rescue when skirts get torn, buttons on our pants (near the zipper) drops off, and countless other scenarios. But I have never utilised them for what I did today. To start the story, I am starting on a course today which will continue till the end of the week. Being the lazy bugger that I am, having a course wasn't my cup of tea since life in office is actually more comfy. Life is that great. Anyway, I am not one of those who goes ga-ga over self introductions, sharing what I think about management processes, or presenting the group's ideas etc. My idea of a course is for me to park my lazy bum on a chair and just listen to the trainer drone on about the subject at hand. Spoon feeding is my cup of tea. I can be that lazy sometimes. I have to say the course is pretty interesting. Everything was going fine till we broke for lunch. Being the 'gulper' of water that I am, I had a bladder that was screaming for release. So, at the word go, I got up from my chair and made my way to bladder heaven - the toilet. Oh, don't worry, there's nothing R(A) about what I am gonna share next. It's more embarassing than anything else. Okay, trudging happily to the gents, I did my business as I would any other day. And as I zipping my pants, the entire zipper head came off!!! Yes, the brass like thingy in the picture here. It CAME OFF!!!! It took me some micro seconds before my mind hit the panic button. I was like WHAT THE HELL!!!??? What's the likelihood of that happening? Having recovered sufficient wits, I headed into one of the cubicles and attempted to repair my pants. After a short while, I realised that my attempts at being a tailor was rather unsuccessful. My only option now was to leave the building and look for the trusty safety pins. It is a weired feeling walking around knowing that one's coffeeshop is 'open'. While the open fly is nicely camoflaged under my shirt, I felt really naked. Have you ever felt naked while fully clothed? Well, it's a really weird sensation. While I know that I looked like any bloke on the street, I can't help but fear that someone will see my open fly and think that I am one sick person trying to outrage their modesty. A 5 minutes walk felt like an eternity. After a short search, I managed to find a small little shop in the market that sold huge safety pins. I was going, 'Thank you God, Thank you so much!' Here's a picture of what my 'saviours' looked like. Mine are a sweet pastel blue (see title of post).

Upon getting hold of these little fellas, I made my way back to the training compound - in doublequick time. Rushed into the toilet and started Operations Save the Fieldmarshal's Modesty. Stitching up the front part of the pants where the zipper is, ain't an easy task. The sharp point on the pins looked capable of serious hurt if the stitching is not done properly. And to be frank, I do not want to hurt my crown jewels. After some struggle, I managed to pin up my pants in such a way that my modesty as well as those of the others will not be offended by the missing zipper head, which incidentally is still in my pant's pocket, that little devil.

And the day was saved. By 2 humble safety pin. You can leave your credit card at home. But never leave home without a pair of safety pins. Ignore this advice at your own risk.